


Oh, Doggy (Hold Ya Bone)

by Carrieosity



Series: Tumblr Ficlets - Yuri!!! on Ice [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College Football, Confident Katsuki Yuuri, Costumes, Dancing, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mascots, Meet-Cute, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Silly, Smitten Victor Nikiforov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 06:31:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18565846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carrieosity/pseuds/Carrieosity
Summary: A giant dog costume, a football game, and a cute security guard: Victor's having a very strange day, but he's not going to complain at all.





	Oh, Doggy (Hold Ya Bone)

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this hysterically funny video](https://youtu.be/TScZXBxSbjY).

Never let it be said that Victor was not a good sport. He might have been pouting for all he was worth as he was zipped into the bulky costume, but there had never been a question about whether or not he would make good on his end of the deal. A bet was a bet, and Christophe had won, fair and square, so now it was on Victor to pay the consequences. Truthfully, the dramatic sulking was part of the game; Christophe wouldn't be enjoying his victory nearly as much if Victor wasn't putting on a show of suffering.

"You're dead to me," he complained, pointing a finger at Christophe's laughing face. The gesture only evoked more peals of hysterical laughter, clad as Victor's hand was in its enormous foam glove.

"And here I always believed you could make any outfit look sexy," Christophe managed to stutter between gasps for air. "Mon cher, I think you may have discovered your limits this time. Even you can't find a way to work _this."_

"Perhaps not," Victor mused, breaking character in the face of how ridiculous the situation was. "But if I'm not sexy, at least I'm cute." He tapped a finger against his lips as he tried to crane his neck around to see the back of the costume. "I have a tail! Look!"

"Yes, yes, absolutely adorable," Christophe agreed as he wiped a tear from his eye. "It's a shame nobody will actually be able to see it's you in there, once you put on the mask."

"Speaking of which…" Takeshi, the football team equipment manager, strode into the locker room. He rolled his eyes, grinning broadly, at the sight of Victor covered from neck to toe in curly brown fur. The only parts of Victor's body not furred were his gloves, the oversized foam sneakers on his feet, and the replica of the team's jersey covering his torso, printed with the mascot's name on the back. "Is Wolfie about ready to head out? The cheerleaders are asking."

"Oh, right," Christophe said with wide, innocent eyes. "Did I forget to tell you? The mascot has to be the top of the pyramid."

"Chris, you had better be kidding," Victor growled as Takeshi lifted the heavy headpiece and started to lower it over Victor's head. Secured to the body of the costume, it towered high, putting Victor's own eyes just above the mascot's fluffy jowls. Christophe just laughed some more, not answering and completely unable to even see the glare being directed at him. _He's teasing. He'd…better be teasing. God, please let him be teasing?_

"C'mon, this way," Takeshi said, taking Victor by the hand to help guide him through the locker room door and into the stadium tunnel. "You don't really have to do much. The cheerleaders have the crowd pretty riled, and most of them have been tailgating since early this morning, so they're drunk enough to find anything you'll do hilarious. Just slap some hands, wave, dance a little. There are security guards around to help if anything gets too weird."

"What do you mean, 'weird'?" Victor asked. He had to shout a little to be heard, between the muffling effect of the mask and the steadily rising volume of the crowd and the music being pumped over the loudspeakers.

"You know, guys jumping the fence to tackle you, people throwing stuff."

"Great." He should never have made that stupid bet in the first place. In retrospect, and without the bravado found at the bottom of a bottle of vodka, there hadn't been a chance in the world that he could have beaten Christophe in a twerk-off.

 

* * *

 

As far as humiliating forfeits went, this one was really not as bad as it might have been. For one thing, nobody other than Christophe and the small circle of friends involved in the deal were aware that it was Victor in the costume in the first place. For another, the weather was brisk, so Victor wasn't overheating badly beneath the fur.

And, of course, Victor had no problems at all with working a crowd. The cheering and whooping was actually pretty gratifying, and the more Victor allowed himself to let loose and clown around, the wilder the applause grew.

It was undignified. It was ridiculous. He was having the time of his _life._

Two of the cheerleaders approached him, dancing and waving their pompoms on either side of them. Victor mimicked their movements, swinging his hips and spinning to shake his ass at the crowd, making his tail whip back and forth. The crowd loved it, screaming, so Victor kept going, turning to one of the girls and grabbing her hand to spin her around. It turned into a crazy parody of a samba, and people were clapping and chanting.

Was there a football game? Victor didn't even care anymore, if he ever had. He was having too much fun. Some sorority sisters were hanging over the wall waving at him, so he danced in their direction, letting them pet his head. Then he pointed and gestured for them to dance, as well. It was a heady feeling to have them giggling and following his commands.

_Why on earth would Christophe consider this a punishment? I could do this every weekend!_

He bounced along the wall, slapping outstretched hands and shimmying to the music, feeling completely reckless. _I could do anything!_ he thought. _I could…_

There, in front of him, was one of those security guards Takeshi had mentioned. He was standing perfectly still, despite the thumping beat of the dance music; his hands were clasped in front of his waist as he kept his eyes trained on the crowd from under the brim of his hat. The head of the mascot costume had shifted a little with his gyrations, so Victor couldn't quite get a perfect view of the man, but he looked _way_ too serious for a moment like this.

"Here we go, Mister Security Man," Victor sang to himself, knowing nobody would be able to hear. "Let's have a little fun." Turning to face the crowd, he pointed both hands at the guard, flourishing dramatically. With a beckoning gesture, he called for and got the roar of approval he wanted, and then he turned back to engage his new target.

_“Who let the dogs out? Woof, woof, woof, woof!”_

Starting from behind, Victor began dancing at the man aggressively, thrusting his gloved fists in the air and rocking his hips toward the man. Interestingly, the new perspective was rather more pleasant than Victor had anticipated; apparently, security work lent itself toward the development of some rather spectacular glutes. For a moment, Victor felt a stab of regret that there was not really any way just then to give that ass the appreciation and respect it deserved, especially as his own not-to-be-dismissed assets were camouflaged by layers of synthetic fur and a tail.

Also, the man wasn't moving. Not even a twitch. Victor frowned in vexation. Well, he could up his game.

He moved around to the guard's flank, continuing to gyrate. Bending his knees, Victor rolled his hips suggestively, probably inappropriately, but, hell, it was a college football game. It wasn’t as though he was stripping or pole dancing, and he’d seen Christophe do worse in settings much more formal. Wolf-whistles and hooting rang out, and Victor grinned behind his mask. He peeked at the guard’s face, checking for a crack in his composure.

Nothing. Nada. The guard was a young man, younger than Victor had expected, with Asian features that might as well have been carved from marble. His shadowed eyes glinted but betrayed no reaction to Victor’s efforts.

 _Damn,_ Victor thought. This was becoming a matter of principle. Part of his brain, the part not riding the adrenaline high from the surreal experience, imagined persuading this man to come dance in an entirely different environment, wondered what it would be like to actually get his hands—ungloved—on those toned arms, to feel those—holy _shit_ —muscular thighs threaded between his own. _Down, boy!_ The crowd didn’t need to see this take a turn for the bizarre, and Victor was _dressed as a giant dog._    

“Come on,” Victor urged the security guard, despite the zero chance of being heard. “Dance with me!” He needed to make this happen. He had to, and not just because he would look like a complete idiot if he had to walk away without any success. Deciding that he had no choice but to go for broke, Victor made his way directly into the guard’s line of sight, then lifted a hand and pointed at his face. “You,” he said, and then flipped his hand at the wrist and tried to crook his finger coaxingly. The gesture might have been more effective if the giant gloves allowed his finger to actually bed, but he thought he got his point across.

The guard blinked. The firm line of his lips twitched, just the tiniest fraction, and Victor saw something heated spark in his eyes. The moment lasted only the span of a single breath, but the electricity that seemed to surge in the air between them had Victor’s heart stumbling over its next beat and his breath catching in his throat.

Before he could regain control over his lungs, there was an elbow in his gut.

“Oof,” Victor said, though nobody heard, and the thick padding of the costume absorbed almost all of the shove. He stumbled backward, off-balance, and by the time he righted himself, it was to the sight of a goddamned vision. Arms hanging loosely at his sides, Victor stood in amazement, the crowd’s roars reaching deafening levels around him, and watched as the security guard _slayed._

“OH, MY GOD!” a girl screeched from far too close to Victor’s ear, and all he could do was fervently agree. It turned out that those toned arms, those thick thighs, and that divine ass were meant for far more than simply standing around and looking amazing; just now, one of those arms was flexing _obscenely_ as it supported the rest of the man’s body, balancing it in the air as he hopped and spun in increasingly unlikely ways.

 _I am so very, incredibly gay,_ he thought dazedly as the man bounced back to his feet, then bent neatly in half at the waist, moving his hips sinuously as he rolled upright once more. _And so very, incredibly fucked._ When the guard glanced at Victor and smirked, then pursed his lips to blow an actual _kiss_ in his direction, Victor’s soul vacated the premises, and he whimpered.

“Well, Puppy?” the security guard finally said, breathing only slightly harder than before as he dusted his hands before running his fingers through his hair to push it back off his forehead. His hat, tossed to the side at the beginning of the display, was retrieved and settled neatly back on his head with an air of satisfaction. “Satisfied?”

“Not remotely,” Victor replied hoarsely, his voice buried beneath the avalanche of thunderous applause from the elated crowd. He’d had his ass handed to him neatly, everyone had witnessed it, and Victor, stunned as he was, found himself positively delighted over it. It took great effort to get his legs working once more, but once he did, he let himself drop to his knees, bowing dramatically. The crowd cheered even louder, and the guard’s blush had Victor falling just that much harder.

 _Katsuki,_ his badge read. Victor repeated it to himself, over and over, as he made his way back to the tunnel. There couldn’t be that many guards working security for the college. There was no way he would let this be their only dance.


End file.
